So what makes you feel loved? Dr. Gary Chapman thought this was such a vital question that he wrote an entire book about it entitled The 5 Love Languages. The book centers around figuring out what makes you and your spouse tick when it comes to feeling loved. Needless to say, it was a best seller in both the mainstream and Christian markets. Why? Because we are indeed a people searching for love, acceptance, encouragement, appreciation, acknowledgement and even applause from time to time.
Thousands upon thousands of songs have been written about love, cards have been fearfully and wonderfully created to express it and flower shops keep their doors open because of it. By gosh, we are going to figure out ways to prove our love if it is the last thing we do!
Take into consideration Ephesians 5:25, which reads, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” It would appear that the Lord considered this admonition rather important. Having created the woman, no doubt he knew what the woman most needed from her man. Fast forward to the 21st century and nothing has changed. Sir Elton John wrote a song called “Love Song” that sang, “love is the opening door, love is what we came here for, no one could offer you more, do you know what I mean.” And yes, Elton we actually do know what you mean.
It is so easy for us to feel terribly disappointed by our husband’s failed attempts to get it just right. After all, even God himself implored them to love us properly. But there we sit in the flower fields, timidly breaking off our petals of “love me” and “love me not’s,” never really knowing what we are going to come up with at the end of our picking. Does he, will he, can he love me? And truly the biblical answer to that age-old question is, yes he can, as well as a broken sinner saved by grace is able to love. That is how he can love you, and that is how he will love you. Broken and wounded and limping to the florist to prove it to you. That is the reality.
We get into deep trouble when we believe anything more than that. If we do not see our husbands as wounded warriors, trying to fight the good fight just like us, than we will see an image that we have made up in our sinful, needy little hearts. An image that is false and destined to fail us (and them), causing much strife and heartache. Only a surrendered heart to God can cause a man to even come close to what a husband is called to be, and only a surrendered heart to God can cause a woman to understand that. We will not be fully satisfied this side of heaven, because our real Groom has yet to return.