We all have emotional needs, and when our emotional needs are met, we feel loved. When our needs go unmet, we feel pain. When we feel pain, we pursue pleasure, and often our pursuit of pleasure takes us to places that ultimately bring us back to pain. Question: If you’re hungry and you eat rat poison, will you still be hungry? Answer: No, your stomach is full whether with rat poison or steak. You experience a sense of pleasure because of the chemical dopamine. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter released in the brain, giving us a sense of pleasure. So, if […]

Winter in South Florida is likened to paradise: a refreshing temperature of Sunny and 72, a cool breeze that caresses our face and sunshine that captures the colorful splendor of creation in high definition. Fall in South Florida is very different: sweltering heat, the air is thick, the breeze is still and the sky is more white than blue. The temperature often determines our mood, clothing, activities and even what we eat. Think about it… a bowl of chili is less appetizing in the heat of summer.  Like the weather, our marriage has a relational temperature that determines mood, appetites […]

It’s not uncommon for couples to find their relationship in a place where they believe they’ve grown apart. They haven’t really “grown” apart. They’ve slowly drifted away from one another. It’s not unlike mission drift. Marriage drift, like mission drift, unfolds slowly with seemingly insignificant decisions. Like a lazy river, the current is slow, usually goes unnoticed, and certainly doesn’t create an alarm. We mindlessly drift. But as life changes, such as children, a new job, relocating, losses, etc., many couples find themselves off course, in choppy, uncharted waters with no provisions or paddle.  Many couples marry with the expectation […]