Deborah Ross has a story to share – a journey that weaves together almost losing everything and joining it to an ending that is filled with redemption and faith. Coming from a divorced family, Deborah promised herself that she would never go through a divorce. When her marriage began to crumble, she admits that the thought did cross her mind: “Satan threw his biggest ball at me, and I did consider getting divorced. Then I took some time and really thought about God’s Word and my children. I did not want them to grow up having the same insecurities that I had throughout life. I asked the Lord to help me – and He worked a miracle.”
Deborah gave her life to Jesus in 1990. Already married for six years at that point, she began to go to church and grow closer and closer in the Lord. “It was evident that God was beginning a change in me. Although my husband told me he had been baptized at the age of 13, I had never seen him read a Bible, go to church or be concerned about the sinful habits he had,” she shares. “When it became evident that I had the desire to do ‘Godly’ things in my life and my husband still wanted to do some very ‘ungodly’ things in his life, friction grew in our marriage. I felt the Holy Spirit tell me that my husband was not truly saved and so I began to pray for his salvation.”
The more Deborah prayed for her husband, the more things began to heat up in their marriage – and not in a good way. Eventually things hit rock bottom – Deborah lost both of her successful dance studios, the couple’s finances were a disaster and God let everything be exposed regarding her husband – this included a drinking, drug and gambling problem, in addition to an affair. “Though many of the problems we were having were a result of my husbands poor decisions, I still believed that he was going to get saved any day and things would change. When everything was uncovered, I had already been praying for him for 12 years. I knew that something was going on in our house – something just wasn’t right. And then one night, he just didn’t come home. That’s when I knew. I thought I had lost the battle,” explains Deborah. “It looked like God didn’t hear any of my prayers – but that wasn’t the case. My husband called me the next morning and told me everything he had been doing. I didn’t know what to do with what he was telling me; it seemed unfair that I had to make a decision of whether we were going to stay married or not because I was always the one who wanted to stay married. He repented; he said he was sorry. He was saying all the right things, but I had no way of knowing if he was lying. I had to choose right then whether I would fight for my marriage or bail. What I did know at that point was that God’s Word was bigger than my problems.”
So, what happened after the bombshells within Deborah’s marriage were exposed?
Deborah shares a beautiful story of how her marriage was redeemed in her new book Healing a Broken Marriage: Love Never Fails. She describes in detail the day that her husband truly became saved and how he has treated her in a completely different manner ever since. “I believe if one spouse has caused major issues in the marriage, such as adultery, they need to be willing to do whatever it takes to repair the marriage. My husband finally got to that point. Today, I always have access to him, he is gentle to my feelings, loving and kind and he is willing to work daily towards whatever will make our marriage stronger,” tells Deborah.
“God loves us so much and perfect love casts out all fear. We really have nothing to fear when we trust His love and I believe that marriage is God’s will and divorce isn’t. If we can just have faith, and hang in there, then I believe there is a miracle waiting for us. It isn’t going to be easy, but we have to fight the good fight of faith. So many people out there today are broken, and when you bring two broken people together, things become a mess. Many couples do not know how to be husband and wife because they have had bad examples of marriage growing up,” Deborah explains. “God is for us – our marriages, our families and our salvation. The love of Jesus coming out of me saved my marriage – it had nothing to do with me, it was all God. If we can listen to the Holy Spirit and His Word and administer love to others the way He administers it to us, then that love will never fail. In addition to giving love, I believe couples also have to administer truth in their households. The truth is sometimes painful, but you have to get to the root of a situation. God tells us very clearly in His Word that love has to be willing to endure, and if you are willing than it also tells us that it will never let us down.”
Deborah describes her book as a life line for troubled marriages and a faith building story for the solid ones. “I have had so many people read it- married people, single, divorced -and they have all enjoyed it and learned from it. It’s a story about faith and perseverance, and it shows them how God is always with us at the crossroads in life. Many people out there believe in God and that His Word is true, but some don’t believe that He is a rewarder. What I set out to do with this book is show others that their faith will be rewarded in this life and in heaven. God wants to show people how much He loves them, how He wants to bring wholeness to their households and that He wants to reward them for their faith – we just need to trust in this.”
For more information on Deborah Ross’s book Healing a Broken Marriage: Love Never Fails, please visit: www.healingabrokenmarriage.com
Marisa Zeppieri-Caruana is a contributing writer for The Good News and can be reached at: [email protected].