Separation – Pros and Cons

Dr. John Hawkins
5 May 2013
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A question that occasionally comes up in the counseling room during couples counseling is, “We are thinking of separating, what do you think we should do?” In marital counseling, as a general rule, I am not a big fan of separation. While there are some legitimate times to separate, this intervention must be used with structure if it is going to be a part of saving the marriage. Why are you separating? For many, separation accomplishes nothing for two main reasons. One is that either spouse is not honest about the reason for the separation. The other is that there […]

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Boundaries – The How and the Why

Dr. John Hawkins
2 Apr 2013
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A boundary is a limit, a marker or border. Boundaries are about protection, security and limits. We live and deal with boundaries every day, but many people have a hard time establishing healthy boundaries for themselves. We are finite beings limited to a human body and a certain number of days on this earth. If we are going to live a healthy and balanced life it is important to set boundaries. This article will explore the how and why of doing this. When it comes to boundaries, there are at least four components that help us know what boundaries to […]

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Looking For a Few Good Men

Dr. John Hawkins
11 Mar 2013
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Being a leader implies that someone is following. If a person is attempting to lead anything and no one is following they must ask, “Why is no one following?” Too often, the tendency is to blame the follower. One word that describes leadership is influence. That being true, certainly every Christian has some level of leadership for we all seek to influence others for God. However, this article will focus primarily on men and their leadership influence in the home. The controversy of male leadership There are primarily two misconceptions that cause this issue to be so controversial. One is […]

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Real Love

Dr. John Hawkins
12 Feb 2013
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Valentine’s Day, hearts and love are what people associate with February. Of course there is also Groundhog Day and Presidents Day rounding out the month. But, for most, love is the theme. Now “love” is a word used a lot in our culture but its meaning can lose some of its meaning. Why? Because of how we act towards one another. Love is often professed but then is not shown to the one we are professing it to. Life is primarily about relationships. Jesus was asked what the greatest of all the commandments was and his answer was to love […]

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Aligning Your Dreams

Dr. John Hawkins
12 Jan 2013
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A new year brings a new start, and often new resolutions and goals. However, many grow frustrated and weary early in the process of trying to achieve their goals. On every road to accomplishment are obstacles and opposition in many forms. These create fears, anxiety and discouragement that shout to the traveler, “Give up, you will never overcome me.” Sadly this is what most do, and another dream dies. Some forge ahead through sheer determination to achieve their goal, only to ask, “Is that it? I thought I would feel something greater!” Both of these problems can be eliminated through […]

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I’m Not Okay, Is That Okay?

Dr. John Hawkins
9 Dec 2012
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“How are you doing?” How many times have you been asked that this week? What was your response? If you are like most people, it was probably, “Just fine, how about you?” But what if you weren’t fine? In fact, what if you were sad, angry, depressed, anxious or felt terrible physically? The sad reality is that too many Christians think they are not allowed to not be “okay” all the time. Emotions Are God Given The reality is that emotions are part of who you are just like your genetics and thoughts. God designs them for a purpose in your life. […]

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What Color Is Your Holiday?

Dr. John Hawkins
6 Nov 2012
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Bing Crosby sang he was dreaming of a “White Christmas”. Merchants see the holidays in hues of green. A large number of people see this season in red for the over-extended debt they accumulate. Then there are those whose holiday color is blue as in “feeling blue.” For many, this is a time of year full of rich traditions, beautiful decorations, festive celebrations and wonderful memories. However, for another large group of people, it is a season of depression, anxiety and the holiday blues. Why do so many dread this season every year? If you are in this latter group, […]

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Do Religion and Politics Mix?

Dr. John Hawkins
2 Oct 2012
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You have probably heard the old saying, “Two things we never talk about around here are religion and politics.” Why do people say that or think that way? It is because both of those issues are very personal. People can feel passionate about either one and still feel that they are a private matter. However, the main reason is usually the fear of conflict. It is one thing to talk about religion or politics but it is another thing to mix them. There is so much talk about the separation of church and state that Christians are often made to […]

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Are Christians Bigots?

Dr. John Hawkins
5 Sep 2012
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We are fast approaching, if not already in, a time in our nation when being a Christian will be considered synonymous with being a bigot. By Christian, I am referring here to one who decides to be a true follower of the teachings of Jesus verses a nominal Christmas and Easter church attendee. Bigotry is the opposite of tolerance. Tolerance is a trait highly valued in today’s society and a prized characteristic to have attached to your name. The dictionary defines tolerance as “freedom from bigotry or prejudice regarding the beliefs or practices of others who are different from one’s […]

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That Isn’t Fair

Dr. John Hawkins
1 Aug 2012
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Have you ever said or thought, “That just isn’t fair!” in the context of one of your relationships? It could have been with your parents, your siblings or your mate, but most of us have been there at some point in a relationship. We feel the division of labor in the home is not fair, or that the focus is always on their needs, but never on our own. Perhaps things have turned abusive and the feeling is, “I don’t deserve to be treated this way.” Where does this sense of fairness or justice spring from in regards to the […]

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