Separation – Pros and Cons

A question that occasionally comes up in the counseling room during couples counseling is, “We are thinking of separating, what do you think we should do?” In marital counseling, as a general rule, I am not a big fan of separation. While there are some legitimate times to separate, this intervention must be used with […]

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Boundaries – The How and the Why

A boundary is a limit, a marker or border. Boundaries are about protection, security and limits. We live and deal with boundaries every day, but many people have a hard time establishing healthy boundaries for themselves. We are finite beings limited to a human body and a certain number of days on this earth. If […]

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Looking For a Few Good Men

Being a leader implies that someone is following. If a person is attempting to lead anything and no one is following they must ask, “Why is no one following?” Too often, the tendency is to blame the follower. One word that describes leadership is influence. That being true, certainly every Christian has some level of […]

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Real Love

Valentine’s Day, hearts and love are what people associate with February. Of course there is also Groundhog Day and Presidents Day rounding out the month. But, for most, love is the theme. Now “love” is a word used a lot in our culture but its meaning can lose some of its meaning. Why? Because of […]

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Aligning Your Dreams

A new year brings a new start, and often new resolutions and goals. However, many grow frustrated and weary early in the process of trying to achieve their goals. On every road to accomplishment are obstacles and opposition in many forms. These create fears, anxiety and discouragement that shout to the traveler, “Give up, you […]

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I’m Not Okay, Is That Okay?

“How are you doing?” How many times have you been asked that this week? What was your response? If you are like most people, it was probably, “Just fine, how about you?” But what if you weren’t fine? In fact, what if you were sad, angry, depressed, anxious or felt terrible physically? The sad reality is that […]

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What Color Is Your Holiday?

Bing Crosby sang he was dreaming of a “White Christmas”. Merchants see the holidays in hues of green. A large number of people see this season in red for the over-extended debt they accumulate. Then there are those whose holiday color is blue as in “feeling blue.” For many, this is a time of year […]

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Do Religion and Politics Mix?

You have probably heard the old saying, “Two things we never talk about around here are religion and politics.” Why do people say that or think that way? It is because both of those issues are very personal. People can feel passionate about either one and still feel that they are a private matter. However, […]

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Are Christians Bigots?

We are fast approaching, if not already in, a time in our nation when being a Christian will be considered synonymous with being a bigot. By Christian, I am referring here to one who decides to be a true follower of the teachings of Jesus verses a nominal Christmas and Easter church attendee. Bigotry is […]

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That Isn’t Fair

Have you ever said or thought, “That just isn’t fair!” in the context of one of your relationships? It could have been with your parents, your siblings or your mate, but most of us have been there at some point in a relationship. We feel the division of labor in the home is not fair, […]

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