Maintaining Marital Satisfaction Through the Seasons and Stages of Life

I was recently blessed to renew a friendship from 40 years ago. Some of my most hilarious moments were with this person, but over the years we had lost touch with bits of news from mutual friends. I was looking forward to connecting personally, but I needed to see a pic on social media to recognize them. I called their name, and even then, I wasn’t sure it was them. I looked at them, searching for the face, eyes or smile I knew so well decades earlier. Not even a glimmer! I was listening for anything that reminded me of […]

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How Well Do You Know Yourself?

Working with marriages and families over the past twenty-plus years has been illuminating for me. I’ve found that most of us don’t know ourselves well. Like others, we know things about ourselves, our favorite colors, our taste in food, where we were born, what we like to do, who we hang out with, what we do for work, and what our talents are, but if someone asks us what our core beliefs and values are, we might have to pause.  As a Christian, I could answer without hesitation that I believe Jesus Christ is the Son of God, born of […]

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Multiple Marriages with the Same Person

Marriage relationships expand, contract, ebb, and flow with seasons of joy and pain. It brings out the best and worst in us. It exposes our weaknesses and our strengths. It matures and refines us. As we age and transition within the stages of life, our marriages evolve. The person we married in our younger years may not have the same carefree and adventurous spirit after children, but they may have grown in kindness and patience. Let’s look at some of the stages of marriage. Some scholars say there are many more stages than I’ve mentioned, but I consider these primary.  […]

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Marriage and Money

The ministry of marriage and families allows us to share the best and worst times with couples. Typically, most couples experience the same challenges framed through different stories, but what is increasingly common is the lack of pre-marital counseling/ preparation. Couples tend to believe they know one another well and are madly in love and don’t have the foresight to pursue a class, program, or counselor to walk them through what needs to be addressed after the honeymoon living. Couples are often distressed because they didn’t have meaningful conversations before marriage. Money is in the top ten issues of couples […]

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What Are You Saying?

We’ve all heard and spoken the idiom “Actions Speak Louder than Words.” Its origins are traced back as early as 1200 in a sermon by St. Anthony of Padua, and it continues to be a popular sermon in the Catholic church during Pentecost. The essence of the sermon is that the person filled with the Holy Spirit speaks different languages in the way we witness for Christ. In some moments we speak with humility and patience because we reveal ourselves through the fruit of the spirits or lack thereof. The sermon goes on to say that we are cursed just […]

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The Known and Unknown Sower

As many of you know, I don’t consider myself a writer, so every month I ask God to show me what He wants me to write about. I always need Him to show me because I don’t have chapters of quality thoughts rolling around in my head. This was particularly true for me this month. He responded with the same message, the Sower of Seeds.   A simple invitation Live the Life South Florida hosted our Happy & Together Hoedown this past weekend, and at the end of the evening, someone spoke up about the number of people the ministry […]

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Marriage Drift

It’s not uncommon for couples to find their relationship in a place where they believe they’ve grown apart. They haven’t really “grown” apart. They’ve slowly drifted away from one another. It’s not unlike mission drift. Marriage drift, like mission drift, unfolds slowly with seemingly insignificant decisions. Like a lazy river, the current is slow, usually goes unnoticed, and certainly doesn’t create an alarm. We mindlessly drift. But as life changes, such as children, a new job, relocating, losses, etc., many couples find themselves off course, in choppy, uncharted waters with no provisions or paddle.  Many couples marry with the expectation […]

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Resolve to Count your Blessings

For the last two years, I’ve started the year with something to commit to for the coming year. Every year many of us make New Year’s Resolutions, and we make a list of goals for the year. We’ve already started in my family with a goal to do something we’ve never done in South Florida once a month as a family. The girls are thinking of going to Peanut Island, Flamingo Gardens, or a restaurant we’ve yet to visit. The guys are thinking along the lines of axe throwing and a shooting range. These are our family goals. So, what’s […]

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A Good Conversation

Over the years, I’ve cherished the robust and sometimes rowdy conversations between family and friends during the holidays. Whether it’s about religion, politics, sports, or who won the card game, it’s lively and sometimes rather intense. Like many of your families, my family is full of strong opinions, and everyone is eager to share. Sometimes the conversations are fascinating because we learn so much about each other’s passions, and other times they become an ouch! The difference between a good conversation and an OUCH is whether or not we’re respectfully speaking AND generously listening. Meaningful relationships are born through meaningful […]

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Living Legacies of Thankfulness and Faith

“Circle of Life” is a song from Disney’s 1994 animated film The Lion King. It’s the story of Mufasa, king of the Pride Lands and the father of Simba. During his reign, Mufasa was killed by his envious brother Scar. Mufasa taught his son Simba how past kings lived in the stars and would always be there to guide him in times of need. Despite his death, Mufasa endures in the memories of his loved ones. We can all see Mufasa sitting on the top of the mountain overlooking the kingdom as Elton John is singing the following lyrics.   […]

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