Working with marriages and families over the past twenty-plus years has been illuminating for me. I’ve found that most of us don’t know ourselves well. Like others, we know things about ourselves, our favorite colors, our taste in food, where we were born, what we like to do, who we hang out with, what we do for work, and what our talents are, but if someone asks us what our core beliefs and values are, we might have to pause.  As a Christian, I could answer without hesitation that I believe Jesus Christ is the Son of God, born of […]

Marriage relationships expand, contract, ebb, and flow with seasons of joy and pain. It brings out the best and worst in us. It exposes our weaknesses and our strengths. It matures and refines us. As we age and transition within the stages of life, our marriages evolve. The person we married in our younger years may not have the same carefree and adventurous spirit after children, but they may have grown in kindness and patience. Let’s look at some of the stages of marriage. Some scholars say there are many more stages than I’ve mentioned, but I consider these primary.  […]

Over the years, I’ve cherished the robust and sometimes rowdy conversations between family and friends during the holidays. Whether it’s about religion, politics, sports, or who won the card game, it’s lively and sometimes rather intense. Like many of your families, my family is full of strong opinions, and everyone is eager to share. Sometimes the conversations are fascinating because we learn so much about each other’s passions, and other times they become an ouch! The difference between a good conversation and an OUCH is whether or not we’re respectfully speaking AND generously listening. Meaningful relationships are born through meaningful […]