Breaking Free From Unhealthy Relationships

After attending church for about 13 years by her mid-twenties, Tewannah Aman, director of Broward Right To Life and the Guard Your Heart ministry, said she felt convicted about her relationship with a man at the time. She had asked in prayer, “Lord if it’s not your will that we’re together, I need you to show me. If you make it clear, I’ll leave.”

A few days later, Aman’s pastor posed a series of questions: Does he really love Jesus? Does he read the Bible on his own and live it? Does he pray about his life? Does he care about church and have a heart for ministry? Once she reflected on these questions, she realized that her future husband would need to live for God. She was devastated that she wasn’t supposed to be with this man, but knew that she would miss out on what God had planned for her if she stayed. God loved her and wanted to do great things for her, but she suffered the consequences of disobedience. “Why does it hurt? You gave your heart to somebody.”

Today, Aman encourages and equips women to build Christ-centered relationships with Christian men and women alike, and prepares them for a godly marriage through Guard Your Heart classes. A cheerful, beautiful woman with lovely red hair and eyes that smile, Tewannah is Spirit-filled and beaming with God’s love. She enjoys cooking, dancing, singing, acting, animals, working out and walking in the park with her husband.

Devoted to full-time ministry, she is a biblical counselor at Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale in addition to her role at Broward Right to Life and Guard Your Heart. To top it off, she teaches in the evenings. “It’s a full-time job,” confirmed Aman.

Guard Your Heart is born

10 years ago, Aman started with some post-abortion workshops and Bible studies at Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale when she felt led by the Spirit to start a ministry. God had freed her and led her to free other women by sparing them the pain that she had endured. “So many women are in these relationships that are really unhealthy,” noted Aman with deep concern. “If I had it to do over, I would not have been with one of those guys. Not one of them encouraged me [or] valued my identity in Christ.”

Further refining

“It’s the blessings that come as I hear women share how God is delivering them and freeing them from their hurt and pain as I help them focus on the Lord,” articulated Aman in amazement. “There’s nothing more gratifying to see how he can use that for his glory.” Her trust in the Holy Spirit working through her also produces great joy. “It’s not about me; it’s about him,” Aman continued. “It’s about including him in everything you do, every step you take.” Aman emphasizes that we need a direct connection to God and to protect ourselves against anyone who stands in the way of that relationship. “You have to be guarded.”

Another Testimonial

One young woman joined the Guard Your Heart class as part of a small group. She was excited going in, eager to learn how to break the cycle of unhealthy relationships with men and how to handle men in the church. Coming out, she had “learned a lot of good information.” In particular, she learned to have higher standards and to take things slowly even with a Christian man. Her standards are higher than before and she is even considering taking the class again. She had also absorbed what the Bible says about relationships and how to apply it to her own.

Why Not?

Aman reveals what keeps women out of the class: fear. “They’re afraid to come in to the class because things might change,” shared Aman. Eventually they realize that they can trust God to give them the grace to do what he wants them to do. Numerous women go a long time not realizing why their relationships are not working out. “All these things in life that are happening are not from God,” Aman explained. However, there is hope. “We’re going to have those Garden experiences . . . because of a sacrifice, [but] the sacrifice we’re making for him is going to bring that kind of resurrection fruit.”

Still Not Convinced?

Aman suggests that we ask, “Am I still hurting from a relationship? Am I struggling with forgiveness? … I would encourage you because there are people who say, ‘Oh, I’m OK. I don’t need it.’ The enemy is going to use a lot of tactics to keep you out, but if God has directed them, I would urge them to take it.” Aman is currently praying about a Guard Your Heart class for teens and for men.

Join the next class

The next Guard Your Heart class will start Tuesday, May 6 from 6:30 – 8:30 p.m. It is an eight-week class. Registration is not required but highly recommended and available on the Calvary Chapel website at calvaryftl.org. If you’d like to have Tewannah come and teach a Guard Your Heart Bible study, please contact her at www.guardyourheart.net.

Sasha Richardson is a freelance writer and can be reached at [email protected]

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2 Responses to “Breaking Free From Unhealthy Relationships”

    • Sasha Richardson

      I pray that the Lord will give you crystal-clear direction, peace, firm support from others and strength in setting healthy boundaries. The Lord is with you. Do not fear. Resist the devil and he will flee. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. The Lord knows you perfectly and loves you more than any human being ever could. In the end, He is “the one” we’re all looking for. Thank You, Jesus, the great I Am.

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