In 2005, I fell off a bike and had a traumatic brain injury that included two subdural hematomas. I had surgery for this injury for which they say the majority of people die and those that live, struggle with horrible headaches, severe depression and other problems.
By the grace of God and love of many, I never had the headaches that many endure, but I only felt and continue to feel incredible joy.
Just two months ago, I had another brain surgery to remove an aggressively growing tumor. Once again, I chose JOY over fear. This tumor was totally unrelated to my previous injuries. The only common denominator is that God installed pure sweet joy and love in me once again.
A month ago, after surgery, I had a big ugly scar across my forehead that I was hiding with hats. During that difficult time, God brought a number of prayer warriors in my way to pray for me. After a short time, I took off the bandage and low and behold, the scar was not to be seen anywhere. I literally have no scar to this day.
Worship in tears
I have come to know in an intimate beautiful way that the kingdom of God is in the depths of who I am and when life suddenly turns upside down, I find the deepest place of worship is in my tears. And in these tears, God comforts, He guides, and He gives me strength. He is more intimate and nearer than anything and anyone I have ever known.
In this adversity I have found a vast richness, incredible love as I sweetly surrender to His love. Instead of asking why, I learned to begin to ask what? O Lord, what do you want me to do? What Lord, do you want to teach me?
I weep, I weep in pain, I weep with loss, I weep with grace, I weep with love, I weep with joy, I weep because I can. I weep because of grace and it’s just downright incredible to be alive.
And I’ll be free indeed, no more tumor, no more cancer. I am devoted to my personal, everlasting relationship with Jesus Christ. I don’t want to see nor live for anything else.
As it says in Acts 26:16, “I have appeared unto thee for this purpose.” I’m a colorful wildflower that is filled with excitement to bloom, and I know who holds my future.
As my weeping turns into joyful delight, I happily anticipate to follow His will, spiritual wisdom and understanding because He promises to give when we ask. Hope for tomorrow comes with incredible joy in the morning. I have joy to see more of my love, my Savior.
Julie Woodley, M.A., is the founder and director of Restoring the Heart Ministries and Ministry Outreach. She is also a representative for Timberline Knolls Residential Treatment Center.