Happiness is a Choice

There are times in every marriage when “wedded bliss” seems to have flown out of the proverbial window. Events take place that can change the course of your very life: losing a job or house, coping with illness, having children, etc. Living with your spouse over a span of time will expose every flaw that you and they have. Sometimes, we look back in retrospect and wonder, “What was I thinking?”

At times you or your spouse may wonder why you both are not happy. You may look back to the days when you were single and remember all the things that you did then, but have had to give up now. Or you may feel that the direction you are going in is not a satisfying one. You may even start to compare your spouse with other people you admire, and of course your spouse will always come up short when you do this. But what we really need to ask our self is, “What is the true dynamic at work here?” Are we setting our self up for a fall? What are the motivating factors of these feelings and questions? Where is God in this picture?
When the Lord leads you in a new way, it will be advantageous to your life, by adding new depth, satisfaction, adventure, etc. God’s leading will never detract from your life. If it is your ego rearing its ugly side, then be aware that you may be chasing illusions set up by deception. It doesn’t matter whether we live a glamorous life or not, we need to be thankful for the roof over our head, the food and clothing we enjoy and the people that love and care for us. Learning to be content while we wait on the Lord to lead us into the destiny He has for us is the best advice we can receive. As Christians, we need to remember that God has us exactly where He wants us and He is teaching and refining us for the next phase.

Another lesson that God will teach us is that life is not all about “us”, but about serving others. The more that we step out of our self and help others, the more satisfied we will become. Life becomes much more meaningful when we see the smiles and gratitude of those we have helped and our heart leaps with joy because we have connected to another. Although our giving is not reported by the media or shown great fanfare, nothing can compare to the humbling joy of helping others. This may very well be the source of discontent that either you or your spouse are experiencing. Try being more tender, patient and affectionate toward each other and stop criticizing and comparing what you think is uncomplimentary. Embrace your differences and allow them to be expressed openly. Respect each others right to disagree at times but always remember to try to come to an amicable agreement through compromise. Happiness is a choice that we make for our self. There will always be trials and tribulations in the course of our life and emotions will flare at times of great stress, but through it all we can hold our peace and joy and remain happy.

If there are pressing needs or seemingly insurmountable obstacles before us, we need to seek the Lord’s direction in prayer. We should not take any course without proper counsel and direction from God. Even when there seems to be no hope, our God will always shine His light in the darkness and make the crooked places straight for us.

He will deliver us from every evil and establish His truth before us. He is our strength and shield, our covering and protection. Thankfully, God will lead us out of darkness and give us a fresh start if we need it! Because God is the true expression of all life, only He can teach us the proper way to live it. Life is so beautiful when we see it through the eyes of God’s love. And that love is not just a noun but also a verb – so receive it and express it.

When we are led by the Holy Spirit, we enter into God’s fulfillment for our life and we reap the fruit of the Spirit which is: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). So, surround yourself with holiness by allowing Godly people, thoughts and actions to be expressed in your life, and expel the darkness that comes through the flesh. Do not give the devil a foothold but be led by the Spirit into all truth. God will always bless us when we honor Him, so always keep His Word in your heart and mind to help you walk in His ways. And, when you do this, you will have made the right choice for your marriage and life and you will enjoy the fruit of happiness.

Marisa can be reached at [email protected]

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