Emerson Eggerichs and his wife, Sarah, are bringing their Love & Respect marriage conference to Fort Lauderdale on Feb. 12–13. They will be offering couples a unique way to celebrate Valentine’s Day by investing time in their relationship.
“We see people that are newly married attending the conference, as well as couples that have been married for decades,” Eggerichs says of the live two-day event, which also attracts singles who desire to learn more about marriage.
The Eggerichs (pronounced Eggerich) have been married for more than three decades and have three children. The couple started hosting the conferences in 1999, after Emerson worked as a church pastor for many years and saw numerous couples that needed help with their marriages.
“We have to look at the Holy word, not Hollywood, when it comes to marriage,” Eggerichs suggested during a phone interview from his home in Grand Rapids, Mich..
Eggerichs says, “We saw a hidden secret, tucked away for 2,000 years, in Ephesians 5:33. The scripture tells us to love our wives; there’s no debate on that. And it says that wives should respect their husbands. This verse creates tension. Yet, we’ve discovered the love-respect connection.”
The Eggerichs’ team surveyed 7,000 individuals and found that 83% of men reported they feel disrespected and 72% of women say they feel unloved.
Eggerichs says, “You may remember how the Beatles sang, ‘All you need is love.’ I disagree with that conclusion. Five out of 10 marriages today are ending in divorce because love alone is not enough.”
“Yes, love is vital, especially for the wife.” he says. “But what we have missed is the husband’s need for respect.”
Eggerichs explains in his book, “This Love and Respect message is about how the wife can fulfill her need to be loved by giving her husband what he needs – respect. And the husband can fulfill his need to be respected by giving his wife what she needs – love.
“We all need love and respect,” says Eggerichs, “and there’s a huge felt need during conflict,” he explains.
“When the wife feels she’s without love, she acts disrespectful. She doesn’t intend to, though. When the husband feels disrespected, the couple gets on the Crazy Cycle.”
The Crazy Cycle is a simple yet deeply profound concept addressed in the marriage conference that is helping couples around the globe to see their relationship in a new light and begin to take steps to improve it.
Eggerichs says, “If you want to be warmly respected, you best motivate your wife by warmly loving her. If you want to be warmly loved, you best motivate your husband by warmly respecting him.”
“Without love, she reacts, and without respect he reacts. And so goes the Cycle.”
“We all get on the Crazy Cycle,” Eggerichs admits.
“Sarah and I get on the Crazy Cycle, but we know how to jump off quicker now.”
Hope after the Crazy Cycle
The second of four marriage cycles addressed in the conference is the Energizing Cycle. Eggerichs explains that in the midst of the Crazy Cycle, the husband could choose to offer to love his wife unconditionally, or the wife could choose to offer her husband unconditional respect.
Either one of those choices helps put the couple on the Energizing Cycle.
“His love motivates her respect, and her respect motivates his love,” according to Eggerichs.
The conference helps couples to see that while putting the other’s needs ahead of your own may be a challenge at times, doing so reaps big benefits when put into action during a time of conflict.
Eggerichs and his wife, Sarah, offer practical advice for husbands. They suggest that husbands can verbally support and honor their wives in front of their children – something to help them jump off the Crazy Cycle and enter a more positive cycle.
“He should speak only positive things about his wife in front of family and friends,” the Eggerichs suggest. And wives can do the same.
Golf Champion is a fan of Love & Respect
Bernhard Langer was known as one of the world’s best golfers throughout the 80s and 90s. The German-born golfer is a two-time Masters champion and was ranked the number one player in the world in 1986.
Langer and his wife, Vikki, both Christians, have been married since 1984. They have four children and first learned about the award-winning book Love & Respect from a chaplain on the PGA Tour named Larry Moody.
“Larry led my wife and I to Christ 25 years ago and at one point told us he had the best book for marriages and suggested we read Love & Respect,” Langer says.
“We really identified with it. Most or all of the issues we faced were in that book. We realized that most marriages struggle in the same areas, so we shared the book with other couples,” Langer adds.
Langer and his wife got the Love & Respect materials in the form of a DVD and began leading several small groups devoted to discussing the material.
The Langers saw marriages changing, and one day Langer began to think he should get Eggerichs to come to South Florida to conduct his live two-day conference that has improved thousands of marriages around the world. Langer then called Eggerichs personally to invite him to Florida.
Langer raves, “There’s nothing that can improve a marriage better or faster than this concept. A couple makes a few small changes and the marriage changes in a heartbeat.”
Marriages at all stages benefit
The Love and Respect Life reports that 50% of couples attending these conferences come for marriage enrichment and 50% are struggling at some level in their marriage.
Eggerichs says the conference is very male-friendly.
“It’s natural for women to want to come to a conference like this,” he says. “You can give a lot of information to women. Yet our sons get overloaded and pull back. We see men coming and really enjoying it, saying, ‘Yeah, I can do this!'”
Eggerichs adds, “We had an 84-year-old widow attend. I asked what brought her, and her response was, ‘You never know.'”
February 12th & 13th
Friday 6:45 – 10:00 p.m.
Saturday 8:45 a.m. – 1:30p.m.
February 26th & 27th
Friday 6:45 – 10:00 p.m.
Saturday 8:45 a.m. – 1:30p.m.
First Baptist Church
To register visit LoveAndRespect.com