As a kid growing up in the 70’s, family sitcoms gave wonderful and idealistic family values — two-parent families with lots of love, laughter and light-hearted humor such as “The Brady Bunch” and “Happy Days.” Family dramas included biblical and moral values such as “Little House on the Prairie” and “The Waltons.” But, perhaps the television version of family in those days was more of an escape from my reality, which was that I was the youngest of four siblings who lived in a blended family, as my mom and dad divorced when I was not just two years old. Family drama was kept at a minimum even though I was exposed to lots of arguments over child support, alimony, a slew of stepmoms and unmet needs from two working parents.

Even in my young adult life, after giving my life to Christ, I saw marriage and family through rose covered glasses. My “church families” appeared perfect and faultless. So I naturally expected that raising my own children would be a breeze as long as we raised them to know and love God.

As I approach midlife raising two teenage boys and nine-year-old twin girls, I have come to accept that my family is not perfect, and I am no Mike Brady. With this reality, I also believe that no family is perfect. All families have struggles. I came to this understanding through a profound truth that we are all broken. Every parent and every child comes into this world broken. The Bible defines this brokenness as sin. The Psalmist notes that we are all conceived in sin. So from birth to death, we travel through this life with an unquenchable appetite to please ourselves and feed our sinful nature, which leads to brokenness — broken hearts, broken relationships, broken memories, broken words and broken fellowship with God. Not only do we pass on our brokenness to our broken kids, but we pass on the broken pattern of our broken parents, which are instilled in our broken personalities and traits.

 

Bible families

The truth of scripture shows us that from the beginning of creation, families have been broken. Adam and Eve were broken the moment they rejected God’s truth. And this brokenness was passed on to their two sons, one of which murdered the other. Abraham, who was the father of the nation of God’s people, had issues with lying about his wife. His grandson Jacob inherited this brokenness of deceit and stole and lied to Abraham’s son, Isaac by stealing his brother’s birthright. Abraham’s great grandsons were broken with jealousy and envy for their brother Joseph. Abraham’s great, great, great grandson, David had such a broken family that his son Amnon raped his sister Tamar and was eventually murdered by his brother Absolom. This broken pattern continued through generation after generation. Families continued down a broken spiral through prostitution, lying and cheating.

 

Spiritual superglue

But, after 76 generations of broken families, something amazing happens: Jesus Christ is born. That’s right; God’s Son was born through these dysfunctional families. But Jesus came in a different way. Because he was conceived by the Holy Spirit, he was different. He was not conceived in sin, and he lived a perfect life — a sinless, spotless, unbroken life. Through Jesus we can overcome the brokenness of sin by being born again into Him — becoming part of his family through faith. That is what is meant in the scriptures where it says, “The Spirit of the God who raised Jesus from the dead will also give life to your bodies. He will do this because of his Spirit who lives in you” (Romans 8:11 NIV).

Through Jesus, our broken marriages, broken children and broken families can all be restored and redeemed. Jesus provides the Superglue. When something is broken in my house, a lot of times superglue mends the problem. Here are some “superglue” solutions for your home.

Recognize the person that you are.

You must be willing to acknowledge your weaknesses from your own upbringing, your past mistakes and your present choices.

 

Recognize the power of God’s word.

Fill your home with teaching and applying all aspects of God’s word into your family life. (2Timothy 3:16)

 

Recognize the presence of God through prayer.

Praying for your family and with your family is an important step in having the presence of God in your life and in your home. (Philippians 4:6)

 

Recognize and restore the personal pain.

There are times in which Christian counseling is an onramp to personal healing. The Family Counseling Center in Pompano Beach is available to families in need of restoration and reconciliation.  Parents and children sometimes need Biblical counseling to work through their struggles.

Broken lives are what God loves to work with. He loves you and he loves your family. And it’s through His Son that you can find complete peace when you feel overwhelmed with life’s cracks. God can take the broken pieces of your life and your family and restore everything back together again.

 

Pastor Brody Howell founded Core Solutions for Family Life where he consults and speaks in churches to impact youth and families. He is the director of The Family Counseling Center in Pompano Beach and he serves as an Area Advisor for First Priority of South Florida. He can be reached at [email protected].