It seems like just yesterday when we took him to kindergarten. Staring at me with those big, blue eyes, he listened intently as I explained to him everything he needed to know in his first moments of school. I explained to him who his teacher was and how she was going to take care of him and teach him all he needed to know to read and write. I prayed over him for blessing, favor and protection and hugged him with all my love until I had to walk away. I will never forget that moment and how thankful I was for this amazing gift, but all the while having a sorrowful sense that it wouldn’t be long before he would be grown. I whispered a prayer to help me embrace every fleeting moment and to prepare me let go when it is time.
It seems like just yesterday when I decided to homeschool. Staring at me with those big, blue eyes, he listened intently as I explained to him everything he needed to know about math, reading, science and history. I taught him about God’s Word, how to worship and how to pray. We learned together, explored together, laughed together and cried together. I hugged him daily with all my love thankful that I was home with him. I will never forget those moments and how thankful I was for this amazing gift, but dreading the day when it would come to an end. I whispered a prayer to help me enjoy every moment and to prepare me to let go when it is time.
It seems like just yesterday when he started high school. Staring at me with those big blue eyes, he argued with me and debated with me realizing I didn’t know everything. I explained to him who I was and that I wasn’t perfect and made a lot of mistakes. I reminded him of who he was and who God is and how much He loves him and has a plan for his life even though he might not yet know what that is yet. I wanted to hug him with all my love, but had to settle for an “I love you” and gentle touch on the back instead. I was privileged with being the one to assist him with his choices and watch him grow in responsibility and accountability. I embraced him during his times of heartbreak and celebrated all his achievements. I encouraged him to do anything God set in his heart to do. I will never forget those moments and how thankful I was for this amazing gift, but all too aware it was coming to an end. I whispered a prayer to help me enjoy every moment and to help me let go during this time.
It was just last month when I attended his high school graduation ceremony. As he walked down the aisle to Pomp and Circumstance, all the memories came rushing in like a flood. I saw that baby I held in my arms, that little boy I dropped off at kindergarten, that boy I watched become a man. I am so proud of all his accomplishments and for all that he has become. My heart swelled as he walked across that stage in cap and gown and received his diploma with a big smile. My excitement for him faded to a sense of loss. I had truly enjoyed every moment, but now whispered a prayer for help because it was finally time to let go. Staring at me with those big blue eyes, he walked past the crowd and hugged me intently as I sobbed. He embraced me in his arms until he had to let me go. I will never forget that moment and how thankful I am for this amazing gift. As his mother, I will hold him in my heart forever and I will never let him go.
William Zachary Blackstone, “May the Lord bless you and keep you; The Lord make his face shine upon you, and be gracious to you; The Lord lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace.” I love you my son.