Relationships

Calling All Couples

Patricia Hartman
3 Jan 2017
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What is the calling of your marriage? Calling? To stay together? To support each other? To raise godly kids?   Don’t feel badly if you answered a. Most couples expect to live happily ever after. Or perhaps marriage is a checkbox on your expectations list. But a calling? Maybe you are just putting up with your spouse because you feel like divorce is wrong. Does your marriage feel more like a jail sentence than a calling? Supporting each other and raising godly kids are good things, but is that the calling of your marriage or just your default setting? When […]

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Not Another Christmas

Patricia Hartman
13 Dec 2016
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  It’s supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year… that is if your marriage is running on all cylinders. But what if it isn’t? Are you dreading the holidays? The Ghost of Christmas Past Close your eyes and think back to your childhood Christmases. Do you smile or cringe? If you smiled, what made them good? The people? The trappings? The food? The smells? Do you long to recreate Christmas past, but your spouse opposes you? If you cringed, was there a lot of pain that you try to avoid or are you now trying to overcompensate […]

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Thanksgiving: The Legacy of an Unlikely Hero

Estefania Hernandez
1 Nov 2016
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Almost four centuries have passed since America celebrated its first Thanksgiving, a day where two distinct groups of people — the Pilgrims and the Native American Indians — put aside their differences and celebrated the Pilgrims’ first corn harvest. As I have begun to learn more about its origins, the story behind the first Thanksgiving seems to be one of an unlikely hero who was able to bridge cultural differences and save a people group from starvation. In some ways there are even lessons for our generation. Fast forward to today and we celebrate Thanksgiving as a day when friends […]

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I Love Me… I Love Me Not

Patricia Hartman
8 Oct 2016
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“I, Nadine, promise to enjoy inhabiting my own life and to relish a lifelong love affair with my beautiful self,” Nadine Schweigert vowed. That’s right – she married herself. With all the talk about same-sex marriage, polygamy, incest, polyamorous relationships of various kinds, it’s not surprising to find that there is also a practice called sologamy. What is Sologamy? It is the act of marrying yourself with a commitment to self-love and self-compassion. It’s also known as “same-self marriage.”   Is this related to the celibacy encouraged in the Bible? In 1 Corinthians 7:6-8, Paul describes singleness as a gift […]

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That’s A Sorry Excuse!

Patricia Hartman
15 Sep 2016
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  Have you tried to apologize, but your spouse won’t accept it? Has your spouse apologized, and you don’t believe he/she is sincere? You are not alone.   What happens when an apology is not offered, appropriate or accepted? Whatever the root of the offense, it sits in the middle of your marriage keeping you from harmony. A wall starts to form, built with blocks from every unreconciled past offense. A pattern of language forms and becomes part of your marriage dance. When you consider that God calls you to become one flesh (Genesis 2:24), this wall is not only […]

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Overcoming the Challenges of Step Parenting

Linda Nunez
13 Sep 2016
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  Being a step-parent is very sacrificial and requires a thick skin to roll with the punches that come with the role. I always tell my friends who are dating a person with kids that step parenting can be extra hard work. Marriage is hard enough alone, so imagine adding kids, exes and brokenness into the mix! Many couples step into to a blended family ill-equipped with blinders on and unrealistic expectations about what this intricate process needs. Like me, many think they will beat the stigma of the evil stepmom Disney has unfurled and magically swoosh her new family […]

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And Baby Makes What?

Patricia Hartman
2 Aug 2016
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You’re about to become parents. Congratulations! Now your marriage is going to be even stronger, and you’ll be happier—right? After all …“Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him” (Psalm 127:3). The effect of children on marital satisfaction In a May 9, 2016 Fortune article, Matthew Johnson, professor of psychology and director of the Marriage and Family Studies Laboratory at Binghamton University, reported his research into marital satisfaction. He surveyed thirty years of studies and found that on average marital satisfaction goes down during the first year of marriage for most couples. Further, he found […]

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The Incredible Shrinking Spouse

Patricia Hartman
1 Jun 2016
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You’ve met them — men/women who over twenty years of marriage lose their joy and wither at the hands of their biggest critic  their spouse. Is this you? Picture it. Joe comes home after working all day in the heat at a job he really doesn’t like. He took it after he got laid off from a job he worked faithfully for twenty years. His wife yells, “Wipe your feet; you always track in mud. And you smell. You have the worst body odor. Kids, tell your father to go get a shower. What a pig!” Or Melissa, who worked […]

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Is Celibacy Relevant Today

Chris Alexander
5 Apr 2016
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When returning to Christ 5 years ago after an extended period of wandering in the wilderness, I found it hard to believe that modern Christians were embracing a standard of celibacy. For the young adults taking the purity pledge, this seemed like a good idea — but for people my age? At the time I was 45 and divorced. Celibacy seemed like an antiquated idea. Maybe during biblical times this made sense, but today’s a whole other ballpark. Surprisingly, this is the very reason why celibacy is still relevant today. Trust me, I’ve heard and rationalized myself, for an updated […]

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How Can I Ever Trust Again?

Patricia Hartman
1 Apr 2016
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I recently to spoke at The Uptown Lunch, a monthly event sponsored by my church during which the pastor asked a number of questions related to how I got where I am today. I shared that after three relationships that included physical abuse, rape and infidelity followed by abandonment, I didn’t like men. I wanted nothing to do with them for a very long time. Recognizing that I am now a well-adjusted happily-married woman, Pastor Stephen asked, “So, how did you learn to trust again.”   The easy answer Don’t. “That’s right, don’t trust again. Stay out of relationships.” The […]

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