Relationships

This Thing Called Love

“I think that possibly, maybe, I’ve fallen for you…” As the song played in the background of the quaint Italian coffee shop, people ordered their café lattes and pastries, walking mindlessly past the young couple. To the passersby, they were two regular people having coffee — nothing noteworthy. That’s a fair judgment, though, seeing as […]

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It’s Not Me It’s You

The Bible makes it clear that self-righteousness is the premier enemy of the Gospel. And there is perhaps no group of people who better embody the sin of self-righteousness in the Bible than the Pharisees. In fact, Jesus reserved his harshest criticisms for them, calling them whitewashed tombs and hypocrites. Surprisingly to some, this demonstrates […]

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The Modern Knight’s Code of Chivalry

As a child I was exposed to Disney princess movies, toys and coloring books. My friends and I learned to expect boys to leap off their white horses, draw their swords and prepare to defend our honors at a moment’s notice. However, as we grew up, it became clear we had been disillusioned. With age, […]

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What Women Want in a Man

Women are looking for exactly what you see on the cover of magazines—a tanned guy with 8-pack abs, a sports car and loads of cash. That is all… if she is completely vapid and shallow, of course! Seriously speaking though, what does a woman look for in a man? Typically when women consider relationships, they […]

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Team Building

Being part of a team is a basic human need. We would all like to be part of a great family, circle of friends, or workgroup. Only it’s not always that easy to break the ice for the first time. Neither is solving the conflicts which often emerge. Even if you are not a leader, […]

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Separation – Pros and Cons

A question that occasionally comes up in the counseling room during couples counseling is, “We are thinking of separating, what do you think we should do?” In marital counseling, as a general rule, I am not a big fan of separation. While there are some legitimate times to separate, this intervention must be used with […]

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The Upside-Down Religion

Imagine yourself walking home from work and suddenly having the idea to stop at the local confectionery. Do you see yourself choosing your favorite cupcake? The waitress places it on a plate for you while you pull your wallet out of your pocket. Only before you could ask about the price, the waitress says it […]

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Having “The Talk” with Your Kids

“As long as it’s consensual, you can have sex with whomever you want of whatever gender you want or identity you want. And it might be before marriage and it might not. All of which is totally natural, and okay, and healthy,” proclaimed my high school’s award-winning newspaper. As I talked to other students about […]

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When Love and Culture Collide

Romantic accents, fanciful customs and exotic trips make cross-cultural relationships particularly exciting, but when novelty fades into reality, ambiguous cultural nuances and unspoken taboos become like relationship landmines. Distinctly different backgrounds and native languages often lead to misunderstandings and misaligned expectations. Despite these very significant challenges, cross-cultural relationships can be uniquely fulfilling and satisfying. When […]

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The Importance of Quality Friendships

If you ask people what they think is really important in life, having quality friendships is usually high on the list. The Bible says, “It is not good for the man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). Although this line refers to Adam and Eve, it also conveys the importance of not doing life alone. It […]

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