Relationships

How Can I Ever Trust Again?

Patricia Hartman
1 Apr 2016
no comments

I recently to spoke at The Uptown Lunch, a monthly event sponsored by my church during which the pastor asked a number of questions related to how I got where I am today. I shared that after three relationships that included physical abuse, rape and infidelity followed by abandonment, I didn’t like men. I wanted nothing to do with them for a very long time. Recognizing that I am now a well-adjusted happily-married woman, Pastor Stephen asked, “So, how did you learn to trust again.”   The easy answer Don’t. “That’s right, don’t trust again. Stay out of relationships.” The […]

-Read More

Consequences of Porn on Our Culture

Richard Marks
no comments

A recent study by The Barna Group titled, “The Porn Phenomenon: A Comprehensive New Survey on Americans and Pornography” was released recently and it revealed what is stated to be a “cavalier” attitude towards pornography and pornography use particularly among teens and young adults.  I would not disagree with these findings based on my years of pastoral work and my marriage and family therapy work with couples and families.  We could argue all day about the merits and findings of such a study, who is to blame, etc. but I would rather think that in the end of those discussions, […]

-Read More

Job Description: Leader’s Spouse

Patricia Hartman
1 Mar 2016
no comments

  Duties: Host(ess) to both private guests and public figures Highlighter for issues of the day Chief encourager Salary: None Benefits: Partner for the journey   It’s election season: time to choose the new leader of the free world. And with this new leader comes the new First Lady, or perhaps, First Gentleman. Who will that be and what will be expected of him/her? What’s so interesting about this position is it’s not truly defined in our Constitution and there’s no pay. But it comes with high expectations from not only his/her spouse, but the electorate. We want a first […]

-Read More

Walking With a Friend Facing Divorce

Paula Masters
1 Dec 2015
no comments

You and your husband sit broken hearted staring at an empty booth in a restaurant where you once shared sushi and laughter with friends who are now divorced. There is something very sad and disorienting about remembering two people in your life being together — who are now worlds apart. Because there is often so much heartache and division that happens within divorce, friends often feel compelled to pick sides, so the trial expands. Divorce does not just affect the immediate family; it becomes a trial that the extended community endures as well. One divorced person shared that even her […]

-Read More

All I Want for Christmas is Our Home Back

Patricia Hartman
no comments

It’s 6:30 a.m. The alarm shocks you as you just fell back to sleep after being awakened at 3 a.m. again when Johnnie came home, talking on his stupid Smartphone and banging around in the kitchen. You thought you were done with 3 a.m. feedings. He’s sleeping on the sofa, game controller in hand, clothes and dishes everywhere. You thought you were done picking up his toys. You have to get to work, so you can support his lazy behind. He can’t find the “right job” – which is kind of hard to do when he stays up all night […]

-Read More

Wow Date Nights…Mission Possible?

Patricia Hartman
25 Nov 2015
no comments

Men, your mission—should you chose to accept it—is to create a WOW date night with your wife. Why? If you and your wife are like most: You are busy with your career(s). You are busy with your kid(s). You are busy watching or playing sports. Your marriage has become routine and lacks vision. You spend more time interacting with your phone than with your wife. Your wife is not as available as you would like her to be. You spend less than three minutes daily meaningfully interacting with your wife.   Are you falling in or out of love? In […]

-Read More

Is Your Bride Worth 8 Cattle?

Patricia Hartman
6 Oct 2015
no comments

  We just returned from a mission trip to Africa, visiting four safari camps in Botswana. (Our mission: relax and enjoy God’s creation.) We usually ask our married guides about their marriages because they are required to be away from their spouses for extended periods of time. Three guides had fiancées but were working to get the bride price (Lobola) required by the fiancée’s parents. One’s fiancée was working to pay it. All three already had at least one child.   What is a bride price? This is money or property given by the groom to the parents of the […]

-Read More

John Hawkins, Sr. is a Seasoned Counselor You Can Trust

Shelly Pond
5 Oct 2015
one comments

When faced with relational, psychological or life challenges, it’s hard to know where to turn for guidance and support you can trust. John Hawkins Sr., president and co-founder of Gateway Counseling Center, has been working with couples and families since the early seventies and has published numerous articles and works specifically addressing how to develop healthy and functional relationships. As a pastor, he understands how to incorporate faith as a resource for achieving therapeutic and life’s goals. In 2007 he founded Gateway Counseling Center with his son, John Hawkins Jr. They offer counseling for individuals, couples and families of all […]

-Read More

Kiss Me, Baby!

Patricia Hartman
3 Sep 2015
no comments

  Would it surprise you to learn that less than half of the world’s cultures do not engage in “romantic-sexual” kissing? That’s what researchers, Jankowiak, Volsche and Garcia reported in an article in American Anthropologist in July of this year. Of 168 cultures studied, 91 (54 percent) do not associate kissing with passion. These non-kissing cultures consider the behavior taboo, bizarre or just plain “gross.” For us, it’s the opposite. A world without kissing is unthinkable. Where would Prince Charming or Sleeping Beauty be without their kisses? What would pastors say at a wedding? “You may now shake hands with […]

-Read More

An App for “Ethical” Cheaters?

Patricia Hartman
1 Aug 2015
no comments
polyamorous

First, there was AshleyMadison.com, a website for adulterers (34 million members). In March of this year a new website for the “polyamorous” launched with 50,000 members in its first month.   Poly what? Poly is Greek for “many.” Amor is Latin for “love.” The Urban Dictionary defines it as “The state of having multiple sexually or romantically committed relationships at the same time, with the consent of all partners involved.” OpenMinded.com says it’s for people who are open to “modern” configurations of romantic and sexual relationships. Founder Brandon Wade describes the polyamorous as “ethical cheaters.” (Oxymoron alert… Does open adultery […]

-Read More