Relationships

Take Out the Trash

Lisa May
4 Mar 2020
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trash

One of our most provocative communication tools is Taking Out the Trash. I’ve hesitated to share it in this format because it is also one of the most emotional tools. The Dialogue Guide was designed to facilitate disagreement. It comes with relational intensity, but it doesn’t necessarily generate the same level of emotional depth that the Trash Can tool elicits.   Swimming Laps versus Scuba Diving My reason for swimming toward deep waters is due to several evaluations we received from our recent RECL(AIM) marriage workshop. Several couples, with tears, shared that they wished we had started with the Trash […]

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Communication, Communication, Communication

Norm Wise
20 Feb 2020
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“Let your speech always be with grace, [as though] seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person” (Col 4:6 NASB).   “but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all [aspects] into Him who is the head, [even] Christ” (Ephesians 4:15 NASB).   They say that the three most important things in having a healthy relationship with another person is communication, communication, and communication. What makes communication to another person so hard? The first problem is that most people are not good listeners. We don’t really focus and really […]

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What’s Love Got to Do With It?

Robyn Wilk
4 Feb 2020
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February is the month of love. There are more songs written about love (or the lack of love) than any other subject on the planet. In the 1980’s, Tina Turner sung, “What’s Love Got to Do With it?” That is a very good question. The celebration of love on Valentine’s day is typically seen as a “couple’s” holiday. We express our love for another person by giving them cards, candy, flowers, candy hearts, taking them out to dinner or maybe just staying home and cooking them a nice meal. When we think about love and who we love, most of […]

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Stop, Look And Listen = You Matter

Lisa May
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Whether you’re talking to a child, a co-worker or the love of your life, when we stop, look and listen to them, we’re giving them our full attention, which says YOU MATTER! All three actions are keys to having meaningful, connected conversations which in turn leads to significant, connected relationships.   What does it mean to stop? Stop means purposefully ending whatever you’re doing to give someone undivided attention. Close the laptop, lay down the phone, put it on silent, remove the earbuds, stop folding the clothes and turn off the television. STOP means to remove yourself from anything that […]

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matter

Maintain And RECL(AIM) Your Relationships

Lisa May
15 Jan 2020
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maintain

(Scroll down to leave a comment on how you maintain your relationships) The Christmas season is over, and the challenge of mastering our New Year Resolutions is upon us. Every year I take some time to reflect on the previous year; my accomplishments, failures, and all that I have to be thankful for. Then I begin my list of aspirations for the coming year. What do I want to accomplish, what do I want to do differently, what new leaf will I turn over, and what do I want to continue? Without fail, every year the same three things make […]

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Be Refreshingly Uncommon

Dr. Gary Hewins
7 Jan 2020
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My dad told me a long time ago, “Find out what everybody else is doing and don’t do it.” I have found this little bit of advice to be beneficial at times. As a pastor sometimes I observe other pastors and preachers and I read about church leadership, church growth, vision-casting and fundraising, and I do the exact opposite. Be refreshingly uncommon at times. For example, my wife and I see a marriage counselor and have no problem sharing that publicly. How can I counsel couples on the importance of checking in with a counselor when I’m not willing to […]

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Give the Gift of Love

Lisa May
4 Dec 2019
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gift

My eyes still well up in tears every Christmas as I watch the end of the Christmas classic, “It’s a Wonderful Life.” George Bailey has just realized how precious life is, what a beautiful family he has, and then the bank president and local police come to arrest him. That’s when the magic happens! George’s friends, neighbors, and all the people he helped through the years come to his aid. Baskets of money are emptied on the table, people are taking coins out of their change purses, and an entire community rallies around to remind us what is possible when […]

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Cohabitation Versus Marriage

Lisa May
7 Oct 2019
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Last month we explored the trend of Christian couples living together from a faith perspective.  We know what Jesus says about premarital sex…. it’s a big no; it’s a sin. The assumption is if you’re living together, you’re having sex. Let’s explore what the secular, academic communities research reveals versus what we choose or want to believe because it’s convenient and culturally accepted.  Cohabitation has been practiced for generations but for a variety of reasons. In colonial days ministers and officiates were less available, so couples formed homes and families without a legal declaration. This was the birth of common […]

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cohabitation

An Inconvenient Truth

Lisa May
9 Sep 2019
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inconvenient

I have the privilege of working with couples during the worst and best of times. The spectrum is broad; the worst is when they come because their marriage is deeply troubled and the best is when they are preparing for wedded bliss, full of hope and wonder. Most recently, I met with a couple considering marriage. Both professed a personal relationship with Jesus, and both came from homes of divorce. They were considering living together to “be sure” they would stay together. I asked them if they regularly worshiped together. They said they occasionally attended church, but they weren’t involved. […]

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Till Death Us Do Part?

Lisa May
13 Aug 2019
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Whether we’re married or not, most people can recite the traditional Christian wedding vows; I, (Name), take you, (Name), to be my lawfully wedded wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God’s holy law, in the presence of God I make this vow. I have to admit that although I dated my husband off and on for nine years, I had no idea of the challenge or significance of the vows I […]

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Death