Relationships

Stop, Look And Listen = You Matter

Lisa May
4 Feb 2020
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matter

Whether you’re talking to a child, a co-worker or the love of your life, when we stop, look and listen to them, we’re giving them our full attention, which says YOU MATTER! All three actions are keys to having meaningful, connected conversations which in turn leads to significant, connected relationships.   What does it mean to stop? Stop means purposefully ending whatever you’re doing to give someone undivided attention. Close the laptop, lay down the phone, put it on silent, remove the earbuds, stop folding the clothes and turn off the television. STOP means to remove yourself from anything that […]

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Maintain And RECL(AIM) Your Relationships

Lisa May
15 Jan 2020
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(Scroll down to leave a comment on how you maintain your relationships) The Christmas season is over, and the challenge of mastering our New Year Resolutions is upon us. Every year I take some time to reflect on the previous year; my accomplishments, failures, and all that I have to be thankful for. Then I begin my list of aspirations for the coming year. What do I want to accomplish, what do I want to do differently, what new leaf will I turn over, and what do I want to continue? Without fail, every year the same three things make […]

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maintain

Be Refreshingly Uncommon

Dr. Gary Hewins
7 Jan 2020
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My dad told me a long time ago, “Find out what everybody else is doing and don’t do it.” I have found this little bit of advice to be beneficial at times. As a pastor sometimes I observe other pastors and preachers and I read about church leadership, church growth, vision-casting and fundraising, and I do the exact opposite. Be refreshingly uncommon at times. For example, my wife and I see a marriage counselor and have no problem sharing that publicly. How can I counsel couples on the importance of checking in with a counselor when I’m not willing to […]

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Give the Gift of Love

Lisa May
4 Dec 2019
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My eyes still well up in tears every Christmas as I watch the end of the Christmas classic, “It’s a Wonderful Life.” George Bailey has just realized how precious life is, what a beautiful family he has, and then the bank president and local police come to arrest him. That’s when the magic happens! George’s friends, neighbors, and all the people he helped through the years come to his aid. Baskets of money are emptied on the table, people are taking coins out of their change purses, and an entire community rallies around to remind us what is possible when […]

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gift

Cohabitation Versus Marriage

Lisa May
7 Oct 2019
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cohabitation

Last month we explored the trend of Christian couples living together from a faith perspective.  We know what Jesus says about premarital sex…. it’s a big no; it’s a sin. The assumption is if you’re living together, you’re having sex. Let’s explore what the secular, academic communities research reveals versus what we choose or want to believe because it’s convenient and culturally accepted.  Cohabitation has been practiced for generations but for a variety of reasons. In colonial days ministers and officiates were less available, so couples formed homes and families without a legal declaration. This was the birth of common […]

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An Inconvenient Truth

Lisa May
9 Sep 2019
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I have the privilege of working with couples during the worst and best of times. The spectrum is broad; the worst is when they come because their marriage is deeply troubled and the best is when they are preparing for wedded bliss, full of hope and wonder. Most recently, I met with a couple considering marriage. Both professed a personal relationship with Jesus, and both came from homes of divorce. They were considering living together to “be sure” they would stay together. I asked them if they regularly worshiped together. They said they occasionally attended church, but they weren’t involved. […]

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inconvenient

Till Death Us Do Part?

Lisa May
13 Aug 2019
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Death

Whether we’re married or not, most people can recite the traditional Christian wedding vows; I, (Name), take you, (Name), to be my lawfully wedded wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God’s holy law, in the presence of God I make this vow. I have to admit that although I dated my husband off and on for nine years, I had no idea of the challenge or significance of the vows I […]

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Meet the Needs

Lisa May
1 May 2019
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God created us for an intimate relationship with Him and others. Last month we addressed bonding; we were created with biological needs for bonding and closeness. We all have needs and were designed to be dependent. We’re physically needy. We need food, clothing, water and shelter to survive. We’re spiritually needy. Man needs communion with God and freedom from guilt and shame; we need forgiveness, mercy and grace from God. We’re also emotionally and relationally needy. We need a relationship with God and others. We’re intellectually needy. We’re born with intellectual capacity, but we need instruction and information. Many of […]

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needs

Bonding

Lisa May
1 Apr 2019
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bonding

Last month we explored loneliness and its dramatic rise globally in all age groups. In a society that’s more connected than ever before, how can that be? Social media, the internet and mobile phones have provided more access to people and information than any other time in history. We have the world at our fingertips. We have an increasing circle of “friends,” we can interact expressing “likes,” posting well wishes or opinions with words, symbols or video clips expressing our thoughts. Facebook has 2.27 billion active monthly users (third Q for 2018); 1.49 billion active daily. About 68 percent of […]

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Put A Ring On It

Lisa May
20 Feb 2019
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Pulling the petals of a flower reciting “He loves me; he loves me not” is a sweet memory for many of us beginning on school playgrounds. No matter our age, stage or season of life, we yearn to belong to someone, deeply loved and cherished. For many, Valentine’s Day and the month of love and romance is full of hopeful anticipation, flower deliveries, chocolates, maybe a proposal with the promise of forever love. The ultimate symbol of love and commitment in the Western world is marriage with a ring placed on the fourth finger of both the man and the […]

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