Relationships

Pause or Pursue

Lisa May
1 Oct 2020
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pause

It’s Fall! A glorious season full of family, celebrations and romance! Hannah Felding, a romance novelist, recently sent out a survey polling the readers’ choice for the most romantic season of the year. Fall came in at 43 percent, followed by Spring at 31 percent. Of all the brides surveyed, a whopping 28 percent got engaged on a holiday or other special occasion. So while others are thinking about pumpkins and turkey, I’m encouraging those that are hoping this will be a season of romance to pursue clarity in your dating relationship so you’ll have discernment regarding whether to hit […]

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What’s Your EQ?

Lisa May
9 Sep 2020
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We all know that IQ measures intelligence, but are you aware of EQ? EQ is our emotional intelligence. In the best-selling book, Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman documented the research indicating that IQ intelligence only accounts for about 20 percent of a person’s success in life. So what accounts for the other 80%? Researchers believe a big piece of the puzzle is Emotional Intelligence – the capacity to ACQUIRE and APPLY emotional information.   People with strong emotional intelligence are more effective and successful in their career, make healthier choices, have more influence, make better decisions, make better grades, and they have […]

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EQ

Life’s Ledgers: What’s your Balance?

Lisa May
2 Jul 2020
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ledger

Our core expectations for close relationships are affected by all of our previous close relationships, whether with parents, siblings, former spouses, lovers or friends. At certain periods in our life significant people, or even life itself through specific events that affected us, ran up a series of debits or credits in terms of what you needed. Time passes, we walk through life’s revolving door, marry and hand our bill balance over to our spouse. Our spouse gets a credit or a debit for what others did or did not do. If my account has many positive experiences from the past […]

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What Stands in the Way Becomes the Way

Lisa May
6 May 2020
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I like you, open my email daily and find worthy writers’ devotionals and musings. I often click “delete” for lack of time. I remind myself that I should read my Bible first, then if I have time, read the ponderings of others. This week I came across famous quotes and stumbled upon a quote by Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius. “The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.” I read it a few times, and the COVID virus came to mind. My mind rambled on like one kicking a stone along a worn path, and […]

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What do We Do Now?

Lisa May
7 Apr 2020
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As you know, we find ourselves at a time and place that is unprecedented in our generation. Floridians have grown accustomed to the frenzy of the grocery in preparation of a hurricane, but the Coronavirus is a different, more trying challenge. Storms are over quickly, and we can move on with our lives. Both impacts us physically and emotionally, but the difference is the longevity of the impact. The longer we experience the physical and emotional stress, the more challenging our relationships become. As pressure mounts, our emotions begin to leak verbal and sometimes toxic behavioral flares. Yesterday I had […]

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Take Out the Trash

Lisa May
4 Mar 2020
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One of our most provocative communication tools is Taking Out the Trash. I’ve hesitated to share it in this format because it is also one of the most emotional tools. The Dialogue Guide was designed to facilitate disagreement. It comes with relational intensity, but it doesn’t necessarily generate the same level of emotional depth that the Trash Can tool elicits.   Swimming Laps versus Scuba Diving My reason for swimming toward deep waters is due to several evaluations we received from our recent RECL(AIM) marriage workshop. Several couples, with tears, shared that they wished we had started with the Trash […]

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Communication, Communication, Communication

Norm Wise
20 Feb 2020
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“Let your speech always be with grace, [as though] seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person” (Col 4:6 NASB).   “but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all [aspects] into Him who is the head, [even] Christ” (Ephesians 4:15 NASB).   They say that the three most important things in having a healthy relationship with another person is communication, communication, and communication. What makes communication to another person so hard? The first problem is that most people are not good listeners. We don’t really focus and really […]

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What’s Love Got to Do With It?

Robyn Wilk
4 Feb 2020
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February is the month of love. There are more songs written about love (or the lack of love) than any other subject on the planet. In the 1980’s, Tina Turner sung, “What’s Love Got to Do With it?” That is a very good question. The celebration of love on Valentine’s day is typically seen as a “couple’s” holiday. We express our love for another person by giving them cards, candy, flowers, candy hearts, taking them out to dinner or maybe just staying home and cooking them a nice meal. When we think about love and who we love, most of […]

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Stop, Look And Listen = You Matter

Lisa May
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matter

Whether you’re talking to a child, a co-worker or the love of your life, when we stop, look and listen to them, we’re giving them our full attention, which says YOU MATTER! All three actions are keys to having meaningful, connected conversations which in turn leads to significant, connected relationships.   What does it mean to stop? Stop means purposefully ending whatever you’re doing to give someone undivided attention. Close the laptop, lay down the phone, put it on silent, remove the earbuds, stop folding the clothes and turn off the television. STOP means to remove yourself from anything that […]

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Maintain And RECL(AIM) Your Relationships

Lisa May
15 Jan 2020
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(Scroll down to leave a comment on how you maintain your relationships) The Christmas season is over, and the challenge of mastering our New Year Resolutions is upon us. Every year I take some time to reflect on the previous year; my accomplishments, failures, and all that I have to be thankful for. Then I begin my list of aspirations for the coming year. What do I want to accomplish, what do I want to do differently, what new leaf will I turn over, and what do I want to continue? Without fail, every year the same three things make […]

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