Maintain After the Fact
The Christmas season is over, and the challenge of mastering our New Year Resolutions is upon us. Every year I take some time to reflect on the previous year; my accomplishments, failures, and all that I have to be thankful for. Then I begin my list of aspirations for the coming year. What do I want to accomplish, what do I want to do differently, what new leaf will I turn over, and what do I want to continue? Without fail, every year the same three things make the top of my list: spend quality time with my family, love them well and lose weight. Some years I do better than others. Still, generally, I take two steps forward and three backward, especially with the later.
Like losing weight, loving well doesn’t just happen. You don’t just wish it, pray for it and it happens. If you’re like most of us, God requires us to be involved, and we have to DO something; it will probably require us to do something differently. We all know the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Doing something requires thought and being intentional. I know how to be intentional about diet and exercise, but how do we intentionally love well? Most of us believe that it just comes naturally.
If you’re longing for a spouse or you’re married, we all want to believe that if we find the one, fabulous, everything I dreamed of, soul mate, our relationship will be secure, gloriously happy and conflict-free. Scientific research dispels that myth. Soul mates aren’t born, they’re developed. We start our relationships wanting to be together every moment and talking for long hours at a time. A few months pass, and we notice our conversations are increasingly brief, he or she is no longer as beautiful and handsome as you thought, and you decide they aren’t the person you thought they were. Where is that person I committed to? Whether it’s your spouse or your family, loving well requires intentionality, quality time, emotional intimacy, humility and a regular dose of forgiveness. The glorious feelings of falling in love all over again with your spouse and being emotionally connected too your children can be RECLAIMED, but you may need to do something different.
Invest in Your Marriage
This year be intentional about loving well and developing the relationship that you’ve always dreamed about. Rather than candy and flowers for Valentine’s Day, do something different. Be intentional about giving something that could last a lifetime. Love your children well by investing in your marriage and join us for RECL(AIM), a research-based, relationship education workshop. RECL(AIM) is a Friday evening and Saturday devoted to challenging, strengthening and encouraging you and your spouse to deepen your love for one another. Discover new skills and tools, so you are equipped to meet one another’s emotional needs and enhance your communication. Many families and couples are present in proximity, and they’re having conversations. Still, they aren’t connected because they haven’t learned the art of listening. Learn how to generously listen and resolve conflicts without it escalating to dirty fighting, and understand how your personality impacts your relationships for better or worse.
Our marriage and families can be a safe place where we are emotionally known, deeply loved and where our dreams can come true.
Whether you’re just beginning your relationship or you’ve been married for many years, be intentional about maintaining or RECL(AIM)ing the splendor of your relationships.
RECL(AIM) will be held February 7-8 at the Marriott, 11775 Heron Bay Blvd., in Coral Springs. For more information, text RECLAIMSOFLO to 555888 or visit www.reclaimsoflo.org.
Lisa May is the Executive Director of Live the Life South Florida etc. She can be reached at [email protected] or by mail at 5110 N. Federal Hwy. Suite 102, Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33308
For more articles by Lisa May, visit goodnewsfl.org/author/lisa-may/