Women are looking for exactly what you see on the cover of magazines—a tanned guy with 8-pack abs, a sports car and loads of cash. That is all… if she is completely vapid and shallow, of course! Seriously speaking though, what does a woman look for in a man? Typically when women consider relationships, they are looking at a variety of things—from your character and personality, right down to what kind of husband and father you will one day be.
Believe it or not, women really are not as complicated as they are made out to be. According to family counselor and relationships expert, Dr. Gary Neuman, it is really the little things that make the biggest impact for women. The things that show you care, that you are listening and thinking of them throughout your day. However, it is not only about what you do, it is primarily about who you are as a man.
Here are some pointers to shed some light on the mystery…
A man solid in his character, certain of who he is and what he stands for, is by far one of the most attractive kind out there. Be sure of yourself, of what you believe or do not believe in. Stand your ground and do not try to be something you are not to impress us, or anyone else for that matter. Just be genuine. If a girl does not like who you are, she is probably not right for you.
Women will always look at men as our protectors (whether we tell you or not), our “superheroes,” so we want to see you standing up for what is just. Women want to see you act with honesty and integrity in the face of adversity, even if it comes at a cost to you. The ability to make difficult and uncomfortable decisions shows them that you are courageous enough to take a stance on something, to defend and protect what you care about.
Good work ethic
According to an article on smallbusiness.com, some characteristics of a good work ethic are reliability, dedication and cooperation. The three go hand-in-hand at home and at work. Reliability relates to dependability. It means you are reliable and can be counted on to do what you say you will do, or be where you say you will be, and so on. Dedication is synonymous with commitment, which means you will stick around when things get tough. Cooperation in the workplace means you understand teamwork. Being married and raising a family is teamwork to the nth degree! It is really hard for one person to do it alone. A woman needs to know that she can count on you to be there when she needs you; that you will be dedicated to your responsibilities, and cooperative to work with her to make things work. So having a good work ethic can speak volumes in your home life. It is all about consistency.
Self-control & stability
Self control can be described as the art of controlling oneself – your thoughts, feelings, desires and actions. The Bible tells us in Proverbs 25:28 that “Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.” This means he is defenseless when attacks come at him, his home and everything he has worked for is susceptible to destruction. In order to keep our lives structured and orderly, we need to exercise self-control daily. It requires discipline because it is not always easy to behave in a godly fashion when our human emotions get in the way! Stability goes hand-in-hand with self-control because it is through self-control that stability is acquired. Dictionary.com defines stability as being “steadfast; not wavering or changeable, as in character or purpose; dependable.” It is important to her that she can have confidence that you, the future/current head of the house, will not be flaky and fall apart in the event that things do not go your way.
Attentiveness & selflessness
Being attentive means you are listening and aware of what is happening around you. It means you are more likely to do “the little things that count” because you are paying attention to your woman’s likes or dislikes. Women do not say “It’s the little things that count” as some sort of sadistic ploy to confuse you into doing big things for them. The little things really do count. Complimenting a new haircut, helping with the chores at home (married people), picking up a box of their favorite chocolate or even something as simple as lending a listening ear, shows your woman that you are being considerate of her needs also. Philippians 2:4 says, “Not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interest of the others.” Women want men who are considerate of the needs of others, who are selfless and willing to lend a helping hand. The world needs more men like that!
All in all, a woman wants a man who will be her friend, her encourager and supporter, on top of all the characteristic traits mentioned above. In this society that so easily looks to divorce as a solution, women and men alike are looking for people who have the courage to tough it out through the hard times with love and perseverance.
Of course, it goes without saying that, the things a woman wants in a man, she should become. She should not expect from others what she cannot give herself. In other words, you want a prince? Be a princess.