My mom never uttered empty words — she spoke life and truth everywhere she went. She was a consistent example, full of true wisdom, and had a unique ability to make me smile. 

But she could also be…irritably on time…showing up 15 minutes early and then ask me why I was late. Frankly, she didn’t suffer fools very well either, often being impatient when people’s minds didn’t move at the speed of hers. I also always wondered why, with all of her reading and knowledge, her superior intellect, and creative brilliance, she wasn’t as generous as she could have been to build more space and capacity to share it.

 

Painting a picture

After losing my mom in 2015, I’ve had countless moments in which others ask me what she was like. In those moments, I find myself creating a picture of my mom through words; I speak of her love for God, her love of music, her intelligence, and her strength. While all these qualities were true, I realized that this picture was only a blurry portrayal of who she really was. I realized there was so much more to my mom than only her “perfect” qualities; the parts of her that made her human were just as true and beautiful and important. 

When we lose a loved one, especially someone as significant as a mother, it can feel like a sort of betrayal to think about their shortcomings. However, I believe remembering rightly is to see someone for who they were fully, to love them for their strengths and despite their weaknesses. This is the best way to honor someone. This is what truly loving means.

 

A gift to the next generation

I’m so thankful for the example my mother was in my life. When I share about her with my grandchildren, who never had the opportunity to meet her, I’m sure to paint a full picture of what she was truly like. Parents, this is an amazing gift you can give the next generation: allowing them to hear about others who have walked the path before them. 

Tell the next generation about your family legacy–spanning from highlight moments to imperfect moments. Did your grandmother have a knack for embroidery and would create gifts for new mothers? Did your great-aunt get terribly frustrated in traffic? Did your mom have a special way of sitting with people in their moment of greatest pain? We can honor our family members who have gone before us by sharing the truth of their successes and struggles. 

 

Reunited

With Mother’s Day this month, I relish in the excitement to someday be reunited with Mom, to experience her as she fully is. Oh, how sweet it will be to hear her voice, to touch her face, to hear another song on her Yamaha grand, to pray with her, and to laugh with her. To hear one more corny pun, one more brilliant thought, one more perfectly placed Scripture in the middle of my day.

 

Rob is President of OneHope. His innovative Outcome Based Ministry model and training has helped thousands of global ministries shift their paradigm and begin incorporating best practices that dramatically increase their effectiveness. OneHope.net

Read more by Rob Hoskins at goodnewsfl.org/author/rob-hoskins/