Women

Cultivating Hope in the Midst of Depression

As Christians we are told at Christmas that this should be the happiest time of the year — a time of joy with grateful family, colleagues and friends. Yet, for some of us this is sadly not the case. In my work with Christians in a private practice and then in my ministry I began to see that the Holidays can be a significant increase in depression. One North American survey reported that 45% of respondents dreaded the festive season. One very blue Christmas I reflect back on one Christmas that was filled with depression, sadness and feeling very isolated […]

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Holiday Blues

For some of us Christmas represents one of the most heart-wrenching times of year. As it approaches there is often impending feeling of dread. The lights and jolly songs that fill the streets only increase the ache that reverberates in our hearts. Whether it is the death of a loved one, the end of a marriage, difficult childhood memories, complicated family relationships, empty nest, loneliness or anything else, Christmas can bring on an overwhelming sense of sadness. The fact that the marketing world capitalizes on Christmas plays a big part in the anguish that some experience. Everything being perfectly presented, […]

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Mary – A Woman Wrapped in Mystery

Like a woman covered in veils, Mary is a woman wrapped in mystery. We are left to guess about her looks, her life with Joseph and how she mothered Jesus. She was an ordinary person. And in many ways, just like us. She believed the angel Gabriel. And yet, how much did she know about the prophesied virgin birth when only the boys of her time were schooled in Scripture? Even though she couldn’t understand the sense of God’s power shadowing over her, the words that spilled from her mouth must have pleased God.  Mary responded, “I am the Lord’s […]

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HEALING FROM THE WOUNDS OF ABORTION

For the past 20 years I have intentionally plunged myself into studying spiritually and psychologically two areas that I desperately needed healing from: the wounds from sexual abuse and the wounds after the trauma of abortion. It has taken incredible wisdom from godly saints. By the grace and love of God, I am astonished to know that He uses our wounds and walks beside others with healing grace. God has revealed this to me as I hear, see and feel the heart cries of women and men in the South Florida area — churched and unchurched — who have sadly […]

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Graham on Leadership: Be a follower of Jesus Christ and Let God Lead

Gigi Graham, the eldest daughter of Evangelist Billy Graham, shared her impressions of what a true leader looks like during this season’s first Christian Women in Leadership Luncheon hosted by the National Christian Foundation at First Baptist Fort Lauderdale in September. Witnessing her father’s life as a counselor to presidents and heads of state, Gigi said she realized “People are either leaders or followers. Daddy made a decision early on to be a follower of Jesus Christ, and it was a very strategic choice to be a follower first and let God lead.” Speaking of her paternal grandfather, Gigi said, […]

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Approval Seeking

I remember my mother talking about a group that was gaining popularity in her time called the Red Hat Society. Basically, she described how these older women would gather in red hats and purple dresses to proclaim, not only support of each other, but freedom from the cultural confinements and expectations of their youth. I vividly recall myself as a young woman coming upon a table filled with just such ladies at a restaurant. They were, of course all in red hats—and the stark contrast of their purple dresses only magnified their fearless pursuit of independence. I couldn’t help marvel […]

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The Pastor’s Wife Who Went Crazy

When I was eight years old, I wrote a suicide letter to my grandma and mailed it. Naturally, very concerned, she turned it over to my parents, who in turn had me meet with a Christian counselor. Little did I know then that that would mark the beginning of a lifelong journey with a battle in my mind. Along the way I would fight these battles in my mind, not knowing how, but knowing that for survival I needed to fight my mind. During my adolescent and young adult years, I ended up fighting these battles with alcohol. And on […]

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Mid-Life Collision

We may have heard the term “mid-life crisis” and thought as believers we were in the clear. Yet, surprisingly, there is a similar phenomenon that happens within Christian circles. It is the timely collision of the old and new — who we were in the past is now conflicting in an implosive manner with who we are now. Interestingly, the results can be likened to the Scripture in Mark 2:22 about putting new patches on an old wineskin. After a certain amount of time, the wineskin can’t help but bursts at the seams. Let me explain; to one degree or […]

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Why Is It So Hard To Admit I Make Mistakes?

The following question came up on my radio program, Ask the Counselor. Q: “I have been telling myself for months now that “I had to” do something very radical in order to survive a very difficult time. Most of my trusted friends, family and counselors disagreed with my action. I felt very frustrated. Why could they not see that I had no choice and that this was the best possible solution to a bad situation? Why did they have to judge me? I was100 percent sure I did the only possible thing I could do. In the last few days […]

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“Get Better” Doesn’t Work

In a New York Times op-ed, Oliver Burkeman suggests something counter-intuitive, but obvious: the more you force someone to have fun, the less fun they’ll have. His piece is called “Who Goes to Work to Have Fun,” and the money quote is this one: “Psychologists have shown that positive-thinking affirmations make people with low self-esteem feel worse; that patients with panic disorders can become more anxious when they try to relax; and that an ability to experience negative emotions, rather than struggling to exclude them, is crucial for mental health. And these are just the hazards of trying to enforce happiness […]

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